My Experience at the Marrieds Valentine Retreat
By Frank Okodugha

The idea of having the Marrieds Valentine Retreat for Surulere, Somolu-Mushin and Ojo-Apapa Regions came as a result of the desire to do something different for this year’s Val season. The Deacons in charge of the ministry in each of these Regions got together, shared ideas and agreed that a weekend off with couples hanging out in a quiet resort-like environment will be the ideal valentine treat for their spouses. In addition to relaxation, the couples will have a lot of fun activities and be inspired by the word of God.  The ideal venue however became the challenge, as the goal was to have a good attendance baring in mind the cost of organizing such a BIG event. 

After consideration of various holiday resorts in and outside Lagos, we settled for a place in Topo, Badagry. This is a piece of land that could be a peninsular, almost surrounded by water, i.e., the Lagos lagoon, mangrove vegetation, and an atmosphere so serene, you feel real close to nature.  This is where we have the Administrative Staff College of Nigeria.  Built in the early l980’s, the college was designed to train Federal Government top executives.  Apart from its spacious rooms and chalets, class rooms and theatres, it is also equipped with modern recreational facilities such as lawn tennis courts, standard swimming pool, a newly equipped gym to mention a few.

The town, Badagry itself is a town rich in history.  Popularly known for its role in the slave trade era as the shipping destination for slave trade export, and the first town in South-West Nigeria where Chritianity was first preached, makes it most suitable for sight seeing.

The Retreat started on friday and by evening, all the couples had arrived (including two non-members of our Church) for this romantic retreat. The date was February, 15th to 17th 2008. On the first night, the highlight of the programme was the movie night after dinner. The title of the movie was “I think I love my wife”; starring Chris Rock. The lessons from the movie were clear; apart from the need to get creative with our lives as couples, we need to value what we have, and fight to sustain the fire in the relationship. This movie set the tone for the Retreat.

The next day, Saturday, started slowly. Though some got up early to jog or work out at the gym, breakfast was served at 9.00am.  This was followed by two classes drawn out of the theme: “Love Check-up.”  The first class was “Friends and Lovers;” and was facilitated by Mr. and Mrs. Darwin Orhewere of the Surulere Region.  The Holy Spirit used this couple powerfully as they related the scripture of Genesis 2:18-24 to us on a different level.  The challenge for us is to see the deeper meaning and applications of the phrase, “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;” and verse 25: “The man and his wife were naked, and they felt no shame.”  The most challenging and thought-provoking question to me was: “what could your spouse find out about your past that could make him/her less committed to the marriage?”  Even if he/she does, would he/she love me more or less?”  The second class was on “Resolving Conflicts.” 



This was facilitated by Mr. and Mrs. Femi Shofu, of the Shomolu/Mushin Region.  They related our marriage to a garden, and as it grows, weeds would start to crop up.  To deal with such weeds, takes patience, humility, and respect for one another e.t.c.
After these two life-changing classes, we proceeded on a royal visit to the Oba of Badagry.  This was arranged by his long time friend and lawyer, Barrister Akin Aina, an elderly brother from the Surulere Region. He gave us a warm welcome in his palace and gave us a detailed account of the historic/cultural perspective of the town and people of Badagry, dating back to the 1500s. He also broght to light the modern day relevance of the town to the economic and cultural development of Lagos State.  In eagerness, he requested to know when we would set up a branch of our Church in his domain.  In response, Mr. Shina Aileru thanked his Royal Highness for his warm welcome and hospitality, and prayed that God in his grace would enable us to plant a Church in his domain during his tenure.

After this, we left to visit certain historic slave trade sites like the Heritage Museum; the Mobee of Badagry palace (a high-chief of the Badagry Kingdom; and a prominent position during the slave trade era); the slave port; and the “Point of no Return” (this is by the Atlantic Ocean, where slaves were cargoed into Europe and America bound vessels).  The sights and sounds of these sites brought to fore the evil and wickedness committed against the black race; of man’s inhuman treatment of his fellow man for selfish reasons.

We returned to the comfort of our cool rooms after these visits.  And after about three hours of chilling out and dinner, it was party time tagged, “Let’s Go Dancing.” It was a fun-filled time of dancing (soul-train type) competition, couples’ games etc.  By the time we were closing it down, people were asking for more. 
Next day was Sunday, and we had an awesome service. 



The sermon was: “Being Effective Couples.”  It was delivered by John Obaje, the evangelist in charge of Somolu/Mushin Region.  For me, this was one of the most inspiring and exciting services I have attended in recent times.  The singing was awesome, the sermon and communion talk were great. 
After the Church service, it was check-out time.  How good times can end so soon.  I can not wait for another Retreat.

Frank Okodugha
Ojo/Apapa Region

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